Entry #4: Gentleness

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”

Philippians 4:5

Lately I’ve been evaluating myself . I’m usually gentle but now I’m becoming easily angered. (Could it be?! that I’m having an old maid’s syndrome? LOL 😛 )

One time, I was riding a train with a younger colleague. We were holding tickets with a seat number of course. When we reach our places, people were already sitting on our seats. This thing usually happens here in China, so we decided to just pick on a vacant seat. After a few minutes, people came to us, claiming their seats, (of course they will ask us to leave, those were their seats!). We stood up… look at our tickets again. I headed to where I’m suppose to be, seeing that it’s empty now.. However the lady beside the chair, said the seat was already taken (even though it’s empty). I whispered to my companion, (backing down a little), “I’m getting angry now”. Older people are sitting on our seats, so I have to mellow down,  but deep inside I was burning. They are speaking Cantonese/Mandarin but I feel so tired that I could not even compose the little Mandarin I know to converse with them. The men who asked us to leave settled down and 2 seats were now empty for us to occupy. I asked my friend to sit to a better spot. As for me I motioned to the 2 guys who wants me to sit in the middle of them, to move so I can just sit beside the aisle. I guess the guy got afraid of me, hearing me speak in a different language & giving him “the look”, so he immediately moved.

I sat down, asked the Lord to help me because that situation added exhaustion to my already tired body. Anger was still inside of me, so I told the Lord, “Lord, I don’t want to feed my anger, instead of being angry, I will sleep it off”. Thank God I slept the whole time (maybe because I wasn’t feeling well), but that recent incident just made me reflect on how ungentle I’ve become, “where are the fruits of my spirit Lord? Why are they (the love, peace, patience, forbearance, self control) falling on the ground?” (In my imagination, I can see those fruits literally falling one by one). Where is the love?!!!

Then I came to this verse: Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is near.

Now why did the “the Lord is near” came after “Let your gentleness be known to all men?”
I guess Paul (the author of Philippians) wants to remind me that “oopps before you get angry and show coarseness, remember the Lord is beside you!”

That means:
1. He sees my actions.
2. He sees my situation.
3. He will take care of me.

So I can relax and I can easily let go and let God.

In Matthew 11, He says, ” 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jesus Christ is the perfect example of humility and gentleness.

Knowing my God is near change my perspective. He reminds me that I must be humble and have a servant’s heart. Then gentleness will be evident to all men.

I thank God that He allows me to correct myself through the Bible and easily guides me to the solution.

Now what does gentleness has to do with me being single?
apparently,this character is one of the Lord’s criteria of a godly woman:

1 Peter 3
3 Let your beauty not be external – the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes – 4 but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.

Hmmm, makes me wonder… while the men of this age don’t usually care for such a character, I’m pretty sure Christ committed single guys care about such things (well I hope..hehehe). One thing’s for sure a “gentle and tranquil sprit is precious in God’s sight”. I am still having some anger issues, but with God’s grace and His presence, I will eventually yield this fruit.

Have a blessed day y’all! 🙂

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